さようなら、また会う日まで。。

I never expected anything special.
..to meet so many people..
..to cry in public..
I never knew I had it in me to make so many friends.
I never expected to become so attached.
...
These are just a few of the countless number of things that the past four and a half months have taught me.  When I was in New York, I had no time to breathe. I always kept myself occupied with work and school, work and school. My reasons for coming to Japan were also work and school... I always knew in the back of my head that something was missing in my life, but time had made me withdrawn and I convinced myself that I didn't need it, eventually losing grip of it completely.
The solidarity I felt in this world, as if I was alone--and perhaps I really am--since people are always coming and going.. now, I know that that's not entirely true; at least at one point, I was not alone.
It's not even about the place or things anymore; it's about the people and relationships. Though we say, "we'll surely meet again," and "let's keep in touch," somehow, I feel insecure. This is probably the worst part of it all. I never expected anything here, so I didn't think of this day when I decided to study abroad.
Though I still have trouble maintaining relationships, and maybe we won't see or hear from each other ever again, I am thankful that our lives crossed at one point. Although it had only been a short span of four months, I think I have grown up a bit. Aside from gratitude, I have relearned a forgotten emotion, and I wish I could have told each of you, I love you! and thank you. Thank you for everything.. really. There will never be a time where we are all here together again, but I am grateful that it happened.

ニューヨークにいる時、私はいつも忙しくて、息つく暇もなかった。毎日学校とアルバイト しか何もしなかった。日本に来る理由さえも学校と仕事のためだった。私の人生の中でずっと何かが欠けていることは、うすうす分かっていた。でも、時間が立つと徐々に内気になっていて、それがいらないと自分に言い聞かせようにした。
私はずっと自分が一人でこの世界に生きていると思っていた。本当はそうかも知れない、人がいつも行き来しているから。でも、日本で会った人のおかげで、それが違うと分かってきた。
重要なのは時間と場所じゃなくて、人との交流だ。私たちが「きっとまた会える」とか「連絡を取り合おう」などを言っても、私は何となくまだ不安を感じている。留学することにした時、何も期待がなかったので、この日についてぜんぜん考えていなかった。
関係を保つことはまだよくできないし、多分消息もだんだん絶っていくかも知れないけど、みんなと会ってよかった。この四ヶ月間は短かったが、私がもう少し成長したと思う。皆さん、ありがとうございます！またこのように一緒にいることが二度とは起こせないが、もう起こしたから本当にありがたい。